Five short months ago I thought my life was in place & it would stay that exact way forever. I couldn't have been more wrong. I lived with my fiance (at the time) and our daughter, aside from everyday stress, we both thought our life together was pretty close to perfect. I thought I was happy. I really did. I let my guard down & let someone else into my heart. Eric is his name. He was a friend of both of ours, now the friendships have shifted. As crazy as it may sound we both just wanted sex from each other. We never thought in a millions years we would be where we are today. Although, looking back we should have know better. I could never get him out of my head. There would be long spans when I wouldn't hear from Eric but I never stopped thinking about him. Never stopped. Then one day he showed up again, like he had never left. After many sneaky nights on the phone giggly like we were in middle school again we planned a night together. Just me and him. As I sit here just thinking about how amazing that night was I have the biggest smile accompanied by happy tears. He was leaving in a week, moving to North Carolina, so we thought all the better to get this out of our systems while we still had the chance.
We got more out of our systems than just sex; we both fell hard and tried to hide it from each other and ourselves. Wanting all we could get before he had to leave we spend every single day together and as many nights as I could swing. Before I knew things blew up in my face. I don't regret a single second of what I did, but I would have gone about it a little differently. I told Bryan and the next day Eric left for NC. It was a long hard month before Bryan & I would finally separate, but we did and it was truly for the better. It wasn't fair to him because I never stopped contact with Eric and I knew in my heart I didn't want too. I wasn't being fair to myself either. So there I was; starting my life over as a single mom, living back home with my parents.
Eric is still in North Carolina and we're doing the long distance relationship thing. It has its pros & cons. We're both are at weird points in out life's right now, I think the distance is good for that, we're finding ourselves again. On a higher level there is so much we have to learn about each other. "The test of love is not when we are together. It comes when we are not together and realize that despite the distance, love is still there."
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